23May2018

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Billy Corgan's Tribute to Kurt Cobain?

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Here is something that I wrote a while ago and have posted on my Myspace blog. People there enjoyed it so I thought maybe the people here would too.
Basically I take "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" and break down the lyrics as if I was analyzing a poem. I then take what I pulled out as the message of the song and compare it to the themes that are in Kurt Cobain's suicide note.
By writing this, I am not implying in any way that "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" is a tribute to Kurt Cobain, I'm just saying that there are ties that can be made.
"The world is a vampire, sent to drain/secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames/and what do I get, for my pain/betrayed desires, and a piece of the game/even though I know, I suppose I'll show/all my cool and cold-like old Job" - the world/media sucks out all the energy that you put into shows and makes you feel like all the hard work that you do is done in vain but you can't let them know that you feel that way
"despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage/then someone will say what is lost can never be saved/despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage" - the rock star feels like a lab rat, he is a "tool" for the media, while at the same time, trying to please himself and the fans despite all the anger for feeling the way he does
"now I'm naked, nothing but an animal/but can you fake it, for just one more show/and what do you want, I want to change/and what have you got/when you feel the same" - after feeling like a "tool", and realizing that you can't please both yourself and the media, you start to fake that you are enjoying what you do but it is so hard to keep doing it show after show
"tell me I'm the only one/tell me there's no other one/Jesus was an only son/tell me I'm the chosen one/Jesus was an only son for you" - this is such a horrible feeling that the rock star hopes that not all rock icons feel this way and that they are not also "tools" for the media when he knows every star goes through the same feelings. he feels that, just like Jesus gave his life for others, he is giving his life for what he loves to do and to please his fans despite how the media makes him feel
"and I still believe that I cannot be saved" - there is no way that the rock star can please himself, the fans, and the media
Okay, I know you're all thinking, "Okay that was a really good description of what the song is all about but what does that have to do with Kurt Cobain?" Well here is part of Kurt's suicide note and I'll just let you read it and figure it out for yourself:
"I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage . I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f***ing sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I dont know." 

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