ThePumpkins.net

DO IT.

this is some adlib poetry

monsoon too soon
by a moon in the
after noon
ill be driving to stoon

i don't normally write poetry for fun, though i should because it'd be great way to keep lyrics for songs in tip-top shape. But this is something i wrote for my creative writing class, it's probably the best poem that i've ever written (heh, look for a familiar reference!). I also have a good short story and a few crappy poems if anybody cares. oh and theres a boatload of lyrics, but we'll see where this thread goes first...

Fade
I spy where bones collide and smash,
pumpkins on the frosted asphalt streets and
the painted leaves rest at my feet
conceal the heat from summer nights long forgotten.
But now,
every move is mechanical
executed wearing a straight face.
With glazed hazel eyes
absent of pearly whites,
frigid fingers fumble over velvet buttons on the dress.

The clock reads three A.M.
I’ve been wasting so much time
thinking you were better than the truth.
Afloat on the turquoise sea
drifting away from the beach.

Fluorescent sunsets lay the scene,
A song from Robin whistles in the trees.
The notes, the lines, the hooks, the lies,
they aren’t enough to save a life.
Windows blocked by purple shade,
welcome mats hidden away.
Up in my castle the walls are too high.
No one gets in
or comes out alive.

nice!

i really like it, except for the last paragraph, i couldnt get it, lol

awww really? the last paragraph is my favorite because it explains pretty much the entire poem and has the most internal rhyme, so its fun to read out loud. Some of my most favorite lines i've written are in there too.

Expiration (Listen:http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/111686)

The children of the future will
Want what the ones of the past have had
Desire won't be so greatly filled
Because the way's to die again
Because the way's to die in vain
Because the way
Is premature

The people look so different
On the pillar's splattered blood
Is there anywhere to go
I can't control my nausea
Or maintain compusure
I can't sell myself tonight

The system is corrupt
In which we are all sucked
The mandate won't be so greatly filled
Because in a way
I can't deny
And in a way
I can't agree
Because everyone has blocked out the sun

The people look so different
On the pillar's splattered blood
Is there anywhere to go
I can't control my nausea
Or maintain compusure
I can't sell myself tonight

The people look so different
On the pillar's splattered blood
Is there anywhere to go
I can't control my nausea
Or maintain compusure
I can't sell myself tonight

Alienbob, I liked all of the first paragraph,it was really cool. I didn't like the first three lines of the second paragraph, and the last paragraph was pretty average...

here's some lyrics i recently wrote for a song i recorded( www.myspace.com/alienbob93 ). i don't know if i like them. They are very "rhymey."

Have a Day
From an ocean it came
Where she knows you by name
We fall back again
Never as friends
Trace out the shade
In the time and the place
Mountains sustain
Caught in the rain

Hurt her no more
As she closes the door
and throws out the sink
along with me.
Spaces between
since we were 19
sew up the seams
Cold water dreams

thoughts in her head
make her wish she was dead
But then who will feed
trouble, it seems.
With the light in her eyes
And the knife in her side
it only feels right
to ache tonight.

Never the same
But she still knows your name
Have a day
In your hideaway
Have a day
And I'll go away

Everyone's a critic, so I'll criticize here:

Had a listen to that song, the guitars sounded awesome! The singing sounded a bit too lazy... what kind of accent do you have when you talk? Lyrics didn't really pop out to me at first, but they seem rather cool.

Sometimes, when I'm running low in the inspiration department, I think of songs that I already know and like, especially if they have cool lyrics. Then what I do is come up with lyrics to the melody of that song. It works a treat.

I can't help the way I am.
Tonight I'm setting free again.
Dreaming of the voice I heard.
Letting go when you say the word.
I can't help the way I am.
You can never [get enough of/have to many] friends.
This is how I see the world.
I'll let go when you say the world.

The part between the [ ] is where I don't know which part of that lyric is the final lyric. So that line could read either "You can never get enough of friends" or "You can never have to many friends"

Gah. I think using the square brackets glitches up messages. So just disregard the first paragraph after the lyrics.

Please let me know what you think!

thanks for the tips. the singing might sound a little lazy cause i was kind of going for a beaten, exhausted feeling. It's a very, sad mopey song, at least it's supposed to be. But i'm rarely ever happy with my vocals so thanks again for pointing those things out.

I don't have an accent when i talk though. I'm from Omaha, NE and we don't really have accents.

Alienbob wrote:


qft

Haha I thought you were Irish or something.

Wtf is qft?

I wrote this song the other night when I was very very very jittery from coffee, at about 1 or 2 in the morning. It's called "Pipedream", which is the name of my band.

PIPEDREAM

So selfishly I decided to stay in my vigil,
And stay inside the borders of the wall I escaped.
When the window shatters, it speaks
A missed opportunity to me.
It's the same as it ever was.

And so in my pipedream,
No-one can bear the thought.
Soon it will be gone,
And I will wake up

Time has a funny way
Of slipping between you fingers.
Try to catch up to see what's there,
But you wait to find it's completely wrong.

And so in my pipedream,
The guns will break your bones.
The fearless ones storm forwards,
And leave behind the night.

And so in my pipedream,
The white rabbit's never far.
Someone's going to tell me
So I can see what's behind the stars.

The monsters in my head,
They won't let me sleep.
Weary of conversations with myself,
So you won't think I'm going crazy.

And so in my pipedream,
A million faces lost, but not forgotten.
Leave you where I found you,
Right back at the start,
Back when nothing was ever there.
_________________________________________

I can't believe how much effort I put into that. It wasn't a lot.

qft= quoted for truth

Ode to the Dandelion

Yes, roses are red.
Yes, violets are blue.
Aren’t dandelions
Flowers too?


thank you

HeavyMetalMachine wrote: